Come fly with me: Whims and fancies

When I fell asleep last night, I almost expected myself to wake up and change the plan. I imagined myself being too tired, snuggled under the covers, to get out of bed, changed and on to the street for a jog in Hyde Park. So, when the time came and the alarm went off without fail at 8am, and my eyes half-opened to snooze it, I pressed the unfailing button and my eyes involuntarily closed again. But on the brink of falling back to sleep, I visualised myself running. The wish to run, a little feeble, was not enough to wake me up, but my bladder did the work. Forcing myself into the bathroom, I realised that in the few days that I was staying in Kensington, if I wasted the holiday sleeping away, I might regret it next week, when I would be dreaming of being in Kensington once again. However, it was the thought of running and being inspired by the morning quiet and beauty of the park, the large golden monument opposite the Royal Albert Hall, the memory of my happy state two days ago when I went for an early jog that did the trick. And so, grabbing my phone, switching off the alarm and dashing down the stairs, I pranced out. Cold air rushed against my skin, a relief after the intense heat of my room and I wondered about the wavering state that often holds my mind captive, drawing on my nerves and making me expend far more energy than is necessary, weighing up two choices, wondering what I most want, which would be better. My often-vacillating mind is rather like the "k" key on my keyboard, I laughed. For the most part of this year, its temperament has been at best entertaining and at worst hazardous to my work, adding multiple "k"s wherever it fancies, sometimes writing pages of its name when I'm looking away, and at other times, I can't even type the letter. I slowed down as I passed the building that was once my school, St James, and on the opposite side a beautiful church where our termly services used to be held. I still couldn't believe that the apartment I happened to be staying in for our family time away, 130 Queens Gate, was directly opposite the school I attended from when I was 4. I continued, now a brisk walk, and looked up at the skies, white-grey with a hint of sun, a flicker that might run away any moment, and sent out a decision — to have more certainty and more conviction and more belief in all my thoughts and actions. At the start of this brand new year, I am not taking a resolution — those are as much of a fallacy as is the notion that whatever we do on the first day of the year will set the standard for the rest of the year — but I am choosing to be more firm, not to allow for such hesitation as might become a waste of time, of energy and thought. And with this decision, I also made a resolve to buy (or accept) a new laptop, and not to keep typing on an old Mac on which, other than the randomly panicking "k" key, I have been copying and pasting the "u" key for the most part of last year. Happy New Year folks! — For more from Meera Ashish log on to www.talefourcities.com