Cynical relationships kill happiness

A new research finds that going back to an ex may not be advisable because it often diminishes the couples happiness quotient Cynical relationships bring no happiness according to the findings of a new research conducted at an American university. The term 'cynical relationships' is used to describe a couple who breaks up and then gets back together. The study conducted at an American university examines why couples reunite and how it affects the relationship. More about the study Amber Vennum, assistant professor of family studies and human services at an American university for her research analysed information that couples gave about their relationship and its characteristics. The information was evaluated using the relationship deciding scale, or RDS, which assesses relationship qualities and accurately predicts what the relationship will be like 14 weeks into the future. While movies, books and TV shows may portray rekindling a relationship as romantic, Vennum found that the results of getting back together were less than desirable. Findings showed that couples in a cynical relationship tended to be more impulsive about major relationship transitions -like moving in together, buying a pet together or having a child together - than those not in a cynical relationship. As a result, the couples in cynical relationships tended to be less satisfied with their partner; had worse communication; made more decisions that negatively affected the relationship; had lower self-esteem; and had a higher uncertainty about their future together. The researchers found that couples said they got back together because they believed their partner had changed for the better or that communications had improved - but the results indicated otherwise. Additionally, other couples stated that the relationship continued because it was unclear if they had actually ended their romance. Five reasons why you should not get back with an ex Your relationship did not last for valid reasons: As time passes, most of us learn to forget the hurt and pain, a bad relationship caused us. However, if you are seriously considering getting back with your ex it's best to revisit those reasons, and find out what exactly went wrong, and if that situation will still be a dealbreaker if you decide to rekindle that old flame. Nostalgia blurs reality: Often we romanticise the past, when we go back in time. It's easy to see what you want to see and block all the heartache you went through because you feel you are stuck in time, where you want to move on but nostalgia takes over making you think back to what could have worked out. Avoid getting trapped in the past or you will never be able to move on. Also, it's best to learn from your past mistakes and avoid them in the future. Could you live with another heartache: Getting involved with an ex comes with a lot of baggage, in some cases you still hold on to the anger and hurt blaming the other person for what went wrong the last time. If you are considering getting back again, are you mature enough to walk away from the past, and start afresh? You also need to examine if the reasons you broke up still exists, if they do its best to avoid getting back again. People don't change Even with time certain aspects of a person's personality may change but it won't change who they really are. If you could not live with that person before, there is very little chance you will be able to accept them with their negative traits even if you really want to make it work. Don't settle for less Don't deny yourself what's due, when people have just broken up or are going through a difficult phase emotionally, it's easy to be vulnerable and try to get back with an ex who is trying hard to woo you back, and while you may enjoy the attention for a while, you can't shy away from the reality, that you broke up because you were not good together. Why settle for less when there could be something or someone better for you?