From couples to parents

You're all set to tread the family way and have a baby. Undoubtedly, the thought must be keeping you happy, but inevitably it might change the equations between you and your partner. Whilst you may be overjoyed at the arrival of your bundle of joy, but newer demands might strain your relationship to an unexpected extent. However, there are certain pointers that can make your transition easier as you go the family way. Do a finance check Shobha and Ramesh Singh were planning for a baby after three years of their marriage. Recalls Shobha, "We were quite apprehensive about starting our family. Though, we wanted the baby, but we couldn't make an estimate of the financial aspects involved. Ramesh kept telling me that we could manage, but I didn't want a situation where we would end up fighting over monetary issues. Finally, we decided to consult a family counselor." Help at hand Psychologist Meena Tiwari explains, "Having a baby requires figuring out the basic cost structure. It's a happy event in every couple's life and one can make the most of it only when you can adjust everything in your financial chart. Money gives you the satisfaction and security to welcome the newest member. So, don't go easy on it. Consult others who have just had a baby. Overlooking your finances will only cause traumatic pressures later on, which can be avoided with proper planning." Health check Bank executive, Reena Talwar speaks of her experience. "My in-laws wanted us to have a baby, but when I consulted my doctor he told me to wait a while, since I was anemic and my hemoglobin count was low. I was very scared and discussing it with my husband only led to arguments as he sided mostly with his parents. I just couldn't show him the reason for my reluctance. All this led to a lot of misunderstandings between us and I ended up hating any discussion related to children. It forced me to rethink whether I really wanted a baby after all or not." Help at hand According to nutritionist Radha Sharma, women should go through a complete health check-up before opting for a baby. "Both the partners must ensure they have perfect health before they go ahead. Women especially should consume a proper diet with sufficient proteins and iron supplements to ensure that the pregnancy period is smooth. Also, a proper exercise regime ensures a safe delivery. People in our country usually ignore these aspects and suffer in the long term, especially if the child is born with a weak immune system or faces congenital problems. Often they want a baby at the cost of the wife's health, which involves a risk as grave as death of the mother or the baby. And it doesn't just end there. Incase of a wrong diet or weakness, the woman may not be able to bear a child in the future too." Family support In the modern day, couples choose to go nuclear. However, it's always better to ensure your families' support when you decide to opt for a baby. Ravi Kulkarni, a manager with an MNC says, "My wife and I were living away from our respective parents. So, when she got pregnant, we were tensed about how to handle the pressures once the child arrives. Finally, my parents decided to come over although they did not want to shift. However, thanks to them, everything went off very smoothly." Help at hand Explains psychologist Aakash Verma, "Parental support plays a crucial role for expectant couples. Having a set of parents or someone close around you provides a mental security to the mother-to-be. It ensures that the woman is happy and comfortable. The psychological temperament of the pregnant woman not only affects the mother, but also the baby. The heightened hormonal activity in a pregnant woman puts her at a risk of having mood swings or going into depression. Thus having a mother-father figure lends security and strength to the often nervous couple."